I’ve been absent from this blog for quite a while because, as you’ll notice from the new title, back in Spring I got a diagnosis of Stage 3 endometrial cancer. Not exactly the cheeriest news to get and, after some consideration, I decided not to follow the route of hysterectomy, chemotherapy and radiation.
The gynaecologist told me at my age and weight, a hysterectomy was quite dangerous and I must admit I was quite taken aback when he talked about going on with an operation that could see me pegging out on the operating table. Added to that, I saw my mum being treated with chemotherapy and radiation when she had lung cancer and it did not leave good memories at all.
I’m also aware that having an operation would lower my immune system and also open my body up to the spread of cancer cells. And the prospect of trogging back and forth to Nicosia, where chemo and radiation take place is deeply depressing. I listen to my body and it felt absolutely knackered and depressed at this prospect. I really can’t stand the capital of Cyprus, Nicosia, it’s a sprawling, disorganised, ugly city with traffic jams, pollution, stinking hot in the summer and freezing cold in the winter. Drearsville Incorporated, as far as I’m concerned.
So I am forging ahead with dietary changes, meditation, creative visualisation and heaps of supplements designed to boost my immune system. So far I’ve managed to lose 18lbs and feel pretty good. I’ve noticed that people do approach me a bit cautiously as if I’m going to look weak and gaunt, but cheer up when they find I’m pretty much the old Mo!
I want to make it clear that my choice in no way reflects on the choices made by others, it’s simply that I felt deep down, intuitively, that my path was an alternative one.
I have to be honest also and say that, having received the diagnosis, I felt quite energised, excited and optimistic. I still do. I guess I might be quite mad but somehow I felt liberated with a sense that I’m on the Yellow Brick Road, dancing to an unknown but creative future.
Because somehow I feel that this diagnosis is somehow permission to myself to focus on my art and writing my book, using my art as a healing tool as I unravel the mysteries of cancer in my body. Unlike many approaches, I don’t see cancer as an enemy, but as something which is an integral part of my body and which I approach with love and positive energy. It’s interesting to forage around and see what is coming up through my life which has caused the discord eventuating in cancer, including not caring enough for myself physically.
So that’s it for now, I’ll keep you posted with my art, the tools I’m using – books, advice, supplements, etc.
Hasta la Vista!