1. If I leave a plate too near the edge of the cupboard, a dog will lick it/knock it off and break it.
2. If I leave my coffee unattended, a dog will drink it.
3. If I leave my apron hanging on a peg overnight, the dogs will rip it to shreds.
4. If I forget to put a piece of clothing away, the dogs will rip it to shreds (1 jumper, 1 nightie, 4 pairs of knickers).
5. If we don’t put the cushions away at night, the dogs will rip them to shreds (4 dead cushions).
5. If I don’t pay attention, one of the dogs will run between my legs and trip me up (twice).
6. If I didn’t pay attention when they were puppies, I’d miss a puddle, slip on it as we have marble floors, and fall over (once).
7. While we are asleep, the dogs will creep on to the bed, one beside me, two beside my husband and one at the bottom of the bed, so you wake up with a doggie straitjacket.
8. Having a doggie straitjacket keeps you warm at night.
9. My dogs remind me of the importance of play.
10. Dog spelled backwards is God.
11. My dogs adore me and Bryan and love us unconditionally. Negates 1-6!!!
1. I am their slave, there to get their food! End of story.