Skype Security – Bah, humbug!

Yet again something different from me today and this is personal – I have today conducted the most stupid, frustrating, dead-end conversation with Skype and today’s image reflects my absolutely cheesed off feeling about the organisation’s security and its condescending, stupid, load-of-bollocks approach to callers..

Let me explain:  for a few months’ now I have been getting unsolicited calls on Skype from a variety of men, despite my privacy settings being fixed for only calls from my contacts.  So far there have been about 100 of these wretched phone calls, with an amazing number being high-ranking generals running around in Afghanistan or the United Nations; or simply men asking for contact; or one bright spark who  optimistically called himself Prince William; and one who was charmingly direct: “Hi, I’m looking for a good wife for me and my children”. Aaarrgggh!

So today I got another unsolicited phone call, the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, although I don’t really consider myself a camel and you’re facing a sticky end if you call me that, and decided to contact Skype where you exchange words via typed messages. I have been bathed with a warm shower of soothing words, what I call “Gobbledegook Speech”. It’s when government spokespeople, company representatives or other such types come out with utterly useless phrases like: “We value our client’s privacy so we can’t comment on the fact that our bank has ripped them off illegally and they are having to spend thousands of pounds/dollars to seek redress, but we value the service we provide our clients.”  Or someone has been mistreated in a hospital and the spokesperson says sweetly: “We are dedicated to the welfare of our clients (no patients anymore, by the way!) and we have their best welfare at heart. Unfortunately due to current investigations and privacy laws, we cannot comment at present, but please be assured we regret any pain suffered by the dead person and their family.” Or it’s a bit like when you’re on hold on the telephone and a bland company voice says: “Thank you for holding, we do value your business, we will deal with your issue shortly.” One hour later you are still on hold and looking in horror at the mounting total of your phone bill, you have heard the message so many times, you know it by heart, and you are screaming out loud: “If you value my service so much, why don’t you employ more call centre staff so we don’t have to damned well wait!”

You know, doublespeak which means they don’t give a damn about what’s happened except covering their backsides and hoping it can all be bundled down with all the other crap stuffed down in the underground dungeons. This time I was assured sweetly that the chat room person really understood my problem, sympathised with how awful it is to be harassed by complete strangers, before admitting she had to pass it on to someone else involved with security. So off I went to the next person who uttered the same soothing smartspeak, then passed me off to someone else. In the end the last person (called “Princess” – I wonder if a Queen or Duchess could have come up with a solution?) advised me how to block unwanted callers and report them. To which I, of course, replied: “I know how to do that already and I’ve done it. I don’t want to have to bother with the time-wasting procedure of blocking them. I want to stop the calls altogether. How do I do that?”

And do you know what? After going all around the houses, it finally boiled down to the fact that Skype can’t stop these calls but they are of course, they assured me very seriously, most concerned about my problem, understand how I feel and hope they’ve been of help in resolving my problem. Which, of course, they haven’t!

So this post is my revenge on Skype – don’t bother trying to stop unsolicited calls because they don’t have the mechanisms to deal with them, they will just give you the runaround and refer you to their generic  advice on how to deal with  unwanted phone calls because, in the final analysis, you can’t stop them.. And their privacy setting is a heap of old cobblers because it just doesn’t damned well work! But at least I enjoyed creating this piece of digital art which gets all those frustrations out of my system! (and writing this blog too     :D).

Skype Stupid

17 thoughts on “Skype Security – Bah, humbug!

  1. Thank you for expressing what I many times feel when dealing with these big companies who could care less. I recently had a problem with an alarm company who wouldn’t stop charging me even though my contract was over. So frustrating!!! I don’t use Skype often so I didn’t know this. Thanks!! However, your art is too beautiful to adequately show what a load of @#$% this business is!

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  2. hi mo, thanks for this. your blog today soothes me because i’ve also been getting calls from men i don’t know and they have been high ranking american military. several of my friends use skype
    all the time and they had no idea what i was talking about. Everyone said it must be from some other social media because skype security is totally secure. my only contact on skype is my oldest son who works offshore and my profile is bare bones. i only agreed to do skype because its the best way to connect with him. he assures me he did not put my name out there. so here you are a world away from me and the same thing is happening to you. ill call the co also just to make a point but i find the fact that some guy out there has info about me that is not on any profile any where.

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    • It’s a real nuisance, isn’t it, Harolyn, and what got me was that I then got a lecture about not putting myself out publicly when I don’t. And even if I did, Skype security should be able to stop unwanted calls.

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  3. What choice do you have now? Do you have to cancel that Skype account and set up a new one?
    Love the round circles it’s like you’ve drawn them with your pencil/marker in your clenched fist 🙂

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    • The problem with shutting my account is that I have AU23 credit on it which I don’t want to lose, so I’m going to wait until I’ve used up the credit then close this account and set up a new one, which is a real nuisance! And actually, the pencil/marker was in my clenched teeth after Skype’s weasel words 😀

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  4. OH, Mo, I am truly sorry for what is happening. I keep SKYPE turned off. I don’t like to be bothered … don’t have time for that kind of nonsense. Feel better now that you have written this post? (((HUGS))) Amy

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    • Thanks, Amy, I generally leave Skype on so that friends and family in the UK can call when they see I’m on-line but I’ve taken your advice and switched off. I had four more calls today, and another General, they must think you’re stupid!

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      • I started having all kinds of trouble as well with SKYPE so that is why I turned mine off. It’s a shame some in this world make it difficult for us to have a good life. Jerks! Sorry, couldn’t help myself! (((HUGS))) Amy

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